She couldn’t save her
Nobody could
It was an impossible job to fulfill
She danced as fast as she could
Wearing shiny patent leather tap shoes then
Tiny dainty ballet slippers accented by frilly pink tutus
She played piano sweetly
The notes floating around the house
Attaching themselves to Clemente sonatinas and Mozart sonatas then
Recitals filled with Schumann and Bach
She read hundreds of books
Journeying though thousands of fantastic worlds
Keeping up a running travelogue then
Earned decent grades
Had good friends
Still she couldn’t save her
The sweaty hand always on her arm
While walking down long halls
Or through the mall
The anxiety kept barely beneath the surface
Your mother was never as happy as when she brought you home her aunt said
The baby that was supposed to fix her
Bring her joy and normalcy
The girl child charged with those herculean tasks
Fix your mother
Make her better
Fill her world with joy
Crowd out the angst
But she couldn’t save her
Perhaps to the disappointment of others
Always put to the test
Do it small blond girl they’d say
Make your mother happy
We demand it
But she couldn’t save her
No one could
Not a tiny baby
Not a small child
She tried
Unwittingly
Just by being and doing
Unknowingly knocking her young head against an impenetrable wall
And one day
At eight years old
Her mother told her that she'd have to get herself ready and off to school all on her own
Mrs. Glazer doesn’t get up for Gary in the mornings any more she told her and I am not getting up for you
And so she fixed her own breakfast
Packed her lunch
And got herself to school on time
Never knowing how odd that was
Thinking nothing of it
Just doing it
Being independent
But she still couldn’t save her
©kcasady2014
